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Title: It Ain't Me Babe (Nah), It Ain't Me You're Looking For (Babe)
Rating: NC-17
Author: [livejournal.com profile] tourdefierce
Word Count: 15,785
Warnings: Language, violence, crack/humor, hurt/comfort, dirty talk, all things Kono, the word pineapple being used aggressively, general late-in-life gaylet!angst, blatant disregard for pretty much everything except manly-lesbian-rage and porn.
Pairings: Danny/Steve with a smattering of Kono/Ben, Ben/Steve, Danny/OCs, Steve/OCs and Kono/The World. (SIDE NOTE: Don't you all think Kono and Santana from Glee should fuck and then possible get cats together?)
Summary:: A story in which Danny makes lists and can't find his heterosexuality underneath all his homogay, Steve has a lot of faces, Kono is perfect in every way and Chin continues to keep Hawaii safe from the Five-O's general disfunction—Or, a story about Kono being awesome and how she likes her men with hearts in their eyes for each other.
Author's Notes: Mostly, this is [livejournal.com profile] hermette's fault for ever getting me into this fandom. But [livejournal.com profile] leashy_bebes has been nothing but an enabler, as she beta'd this fic, and made it everything it is now. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] hermette and [livejournal.com profile] slowdead for their encouragement. All remaining mistakes are my own damn fault. Title from the Bob Dylan version of the song. This is my first fic in this fandom, but so far it looks like it's a lot like my other fandoms: porn and feelings. I HOPE I'M NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT.

(part one)(part two)

HELLO HAWAII-FIVE-OH FANDOM. HELLO.
Photobucket
Let's make out.

Date: 2011-05-15 06:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leashy-bebes.livejournal.com
*\0/*

That is all.

Date: 2011-05-15 06:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tourdefierce.livejournal.com
I love everything you choose to be.

(Do you think it needs any other warnings? I'm really, really bad at this shit.)

Date: 2011-05-15 06:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leashy-bebes.livejournal.com
ffffff, I have no idea, I fail at warnings. Accidental voyeurism? MIND BLOWING AWKWARDNESS? MIND BLOWING SEX? SO AWESOME YOU MIGHT BURST? I do not know.

Date: 2011-05-15 07:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tourdefierce.livejournal.com
I'm so glad we're really good at this. I'm just waiting for a PM that says: EMILY. YOU SUCK AT WARNINGS. MY SOUL IS OFFENDED. And then I cry. lol.

AWKWARDNESS. SO MUCH OF IT. YOU'RE TOTALLY RIGHT.

Danny spending a lot of time under his desk and not giving blowjobs?

Date: 2011-05-15 07:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leashy-bebes.livejournal.com
*high five* We're great and you know it. No, but, I don't know, I write fluff, I know nothing of warnings. I don't think you need any more. But I will read pretty much anything without batting much of an eyelash so WHO KNOWS WHO KNOWS.

Ahahaha yeah. "Danny hiding under his desk for non-erotic purposes and Kono fondling knives for non-intentionally-erotic reasons."

fffff. No one could be offended by this unless they are like. Allergic to feelings and porn. Which, you know, fandom. Okay, I'm making NO SENSE. No more internet for me.

Basically I love this fic and I love you.

RIGHT. COFFEE.

Date: 2011-05-15 07:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thisissirius.livejournal.com
OMG WHAT IS THIS ON MY FLIST :O

WHAT IS THIS AMAZING PIECE OF FICTION. BRB, DEVOURING IT.

Date: 2011-05-15 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tourdefierce.livejournal.com
ALL FOR YOU, BB. ALL FOR YOU.

Date: 2011-05-15 08:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lasamy.livejournal.com
OOOOH i know what i'll be reading before bed :D

Date: 2011-05-15 09:12 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-05-15 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-know-its-0ver.livejournal.com
YOU YELL AT ME TO PACK AND THEN YOU POST THIS? THAT IS JUST CRUEL, WOMAN, CRUEL.

fine, I will save this as a treat for myself when I'm done. at which point I will DEVOUR AND ROLL AROUND IN YOUR AWESOME, AND THEN TELL YOU ABOUT SAID AWESOME.

Date: 2011-05-15 10:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tourdefierce.livejournal.com
See? This works as a fabulous incentive for you to packpackpack and then come back and read this! I'M AN AWESOME MOTIVATOR.

I love it when you tell me how awesome I am. I love it.

Date: 2011-05-15 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mezzo-cammin.livejournal.com
See, this is a weird circle-of-life fandom thing - at first there was Cate and Lamardeuse (from SGA), who started writing and squeeing about H50, and through them, I friended Hermette, and discovered Merlin (OMG, MERLIN!!!!!), and your writing, and now here you are, writing H50.

Serendipity!! I love it!

And I can't wait to read this, after work. \0/

Date: 2011-05-16 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tourdefierce.livejournal.com
Isn't it crazy how our internet-world is such a small place at times? Mind boggling. ♥

I hope you liked it!

Date: 2011-05-16 04:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jesseofthenorth.livejournal.com
Thought you might like to know
your fic It Ain't Me Babe (Nah), It Ain't Me You're Looking For (Babe) has been recced HERE (http://h50-rec-room.livejournal.com/14715.html)
at [livejournal.com profile] h50_rec_room

Date: 2011-05-16 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tourdefierce.livejournal.com
Thank you very much for informing me!

Date: 2011-05-16 05:55 am (UTC)
ext_559841: suspended on silver wings~ (Default)
From: [identity profile] shiroi-ten.livejournal.com
SO EXCITED FOR THIS!! I don't have time right now but SOON I SHALL READ THIS BEAUTEOUS CREATION. Also, Kono=99.9999% of the reasons to watch h50.

Date: 2011-05-16 02:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tourdefierce.livejournal.com
SHE IS THE REASON FOR TO LIVE.

Date: 2011-05-16 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tehomet.livejournal.com
I just inhaled read your story and it was DAMN GLORIOUS! And really touching and funny and hot and funny! And also had brilliant character voices (really brilliant) and fabulous dialogue. I loved it. Thank you.

Date: 2011-05-17 05:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tourdefierce.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad all the elements worked for you. It's always scary writing in a new fandom and trying to get the voices right so I appreciate you enjoying them.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I'm super pleased you enjoyed it so much! ♥

Date: 2011-05-17 05:49 pm (UTC)
ext_86641: (Default)
From: [identity profile] supergreak.livejournal.com
(SIDE NOTE: Don't you all think Kono and Santana from Glee should fuck and then possible get cats together?)

TOTALLY YES!!!
(going to read now)(someone should write that fic, because now it won't leave my head)

Date: 2011-05-17 07:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tourdefierce.livejournal.com
Right? they would be so perfect together. DO WANT.

Date: 2011-06-12 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kskitten.livejournal.com
The first part was awesome and I laughed out loud and giggle my way through but now I can't access it anymore! And I want to read the next part so badly now, pretty please? Are you doing maintenance or is lj wonky?

Date: 2011-06-12 10:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tourdefierce.livejournal.com
Try again. I clicked and it worked just fine. It's not flocked. So it must be something on your end, love.

I hope you enjoy the rest!

Date: 2011-06-12 10:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kskitten.livejournal.com
Hmpf, stupid technology fail! Keeping me from delicious story. :{

Date: 2011-08-23 06:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawaii50fangirl.livejournal.com
You are absolutely not a disappointment. That's good stuff.

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