ext_33099 ([identity profile] towel-master.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] tourdefierce 2011-02-28 06:12 am (UTC)

*flail* Your characterisation is sooooo gooood... I could just see this in my head. Everyone is so spot on. Ahhhh... *happy sigh* I love Arthur's hobbies so much! And Eames's casual stalking... Oh, Ariadne! She was so fresh! XD I wanted to hug her and slap her on principle every time she opened her cute little mouth. This was excellent!

I hope you won't kill me if I do point out typos, though... :| Just a few!

Arthur lies in weight, almost expecting Eames to have sold them out for money[...]
I think you mean he lies in wait.

It's standard militarization for some French somebody or another, Eames could honestly careless.
Eames could honestly care less.

"Oh fuck," Arthur says. Eames smiles, blissed out and drags[...]
I think you need a comma after 'blissed out.'

"What is it with American's and that word?"
No apostrophe, please! :D

Ariadne smiles sharply at Eames, over Arthur shoulder as he goes over her plans.
I don't think you need the comma, and Arthur needs an apostrophe+s tacked on.

:D The fic was so good! I can't wait for the long one. *dances*

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