tourdefierce | Boyfriend, Bradley/Colin: NC-17

Title: Boyfriend
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Bradley/Colin
Warnings: Dirty talk, beard!abuse, rimming (and all sorts of other naughty things), FLUFF and thinly veiled plot as a means to FILTHY FUCKING PORN.
Word count: 3,772
Summary: It's beard porn kids. I'm not sure what else to say.
Author's Note:

eloquent_toast draws amazing porn. I know. So, as a reward for drawing amazing porn I wrote her beard!porn. I hate Bradley's beard, so I got rid of it... with the power of Colin's dick. Obviously

A big thank you to

dreamdustmama for betaing.

"Come back."

"Hmm," the familiar melodic voice hummed over the line. Bradley pouted and rolled over onto his side. The phone pressed uncomfortably against his ear but he closed his eyes and listened to the breathing on the other end.

"Come back," Bradley whined dramatically. "Everyone here's boring and unshagable."

"They better be unshagable," came the reply with a little hiss at the end to indicate that although he was kidding, he certainly wasn't kidding. "Besides, I'll be there in two days."

"Two days is a long time."

"You're the only person I know who can pout so effectively over the phone. I can literally feel your puppy dog eyes from Ireland."

Bradley stuck out his tongue. "You could just come now?"

"I have two days left of filming, Bradley. I'm not yet famous enough to be acting like a git."

"Colin..."

"I will back in two days, and we will spend the Tuesday and Wednesday having loads of filthy sex," he said with a hint of exasperation. "We'll visit your mum and dad for Christmas and then, well, then I have a surprise for you."

"Is it a Colin-dick shaped dildo?"

Colin puffed out laughter against his ear and Bradley smiled into the darkness when Colin replied with a clipped, "No."

"Does it have anything to do with-"

"Bradley, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you."

"Fine! Fine!"

Bradley shifted, moving the phone to his other ear and settling back into the pillows. He was exhausted but Colin had been filming non-stop for the last week and telly time had been limited. How was he supposed to function without hearing Colin's voice everyday? And during the holidays! It was torture. The next time Colin signed a contract, Bradley was going to demand that a certain amount of boyfriend time be written into the fine print.

If not, he was going to throw a tantrum. A fit. A paroxysm of manly rage.

"Are you listening to me?"

Bradley smiled at Colin's affectionate tone. "I'm not. But keep talking," Bradley replied with sleep slurred words.

"You're falling asleep?"

"Miss you," Bradley said instead and smiled when Colin sighed because that means he'd won and tonight, he won't sleep next to Colin Morgan Acting Genius but he'll fall asleep to Colin Morgan Being A Wonderful Boyfriend by talking him to sleep.

Bradley would later defend his utter patheticness with the fact that Colin's voice sounds like rainbows and unicorns and tiny little leprechauns—all-in-all, very soothing.

<3<3<3

Bradley drove to the airport like a man possessed because Colin was coming home and that was important for many reasons. Many of them had to do with Colin's lovely hands and his various smiles and the way he was Bradley's boyfriend. (It was a new thing and Bradley quite liked it.) The other reasons had to do with the fact that Bradley's dick was tired of being touched by his hand and he wanted Colin's everything pressed up against him, down around his nether regions and anywhere else Bradley could manage to get him in the two days they had alone.

Bradley had all sorts of plans and none of them involved being in public or clothed.

He pulled out a little sign from the backseat. It read Colin Morgan in very official letters, if Bradley said so himself, and below were three rather dashing figurines: a leprechaun, a shamrock and a rainbow.

Bradley snickered to himself and skipped off to Colin's terminal. He didn't care if he looked ridiculous because he was Bradley James and he had a boyfriend and he was very excited to see him.

When Colin did finally walk off the plan, he didn't rush into Bradley's arms like in all the movies. It was quite disappointing. However, when he caught Bradley's eye he smiled wide, his cheeks rosy with what Bradley hoped was love and adoration but was probably embarrassment. Even if it wasn't epic movie-reunion style, it was alright for a first timer. He would have to explain to Colin exactly how this went because they were bound to have several of these mini-reunions, and if Bradley was to be getting off a plane he was running and jumping into someone's arms—best Colin be prepared.

"Hello," Bradley shouted when Colin got close enough to hear him over the other bustling travelers. Colin shook his head but he didn't stop smiling so Bradley took that as another victory.

"I'm sorry," Colin replied with coy eyes and eyelashes that Bradley was dying to feel against his skin. "But I'm not sure I'm who you're looking for."

"Oh?" Bradley played along, letting Colin take the sign from his hands and grinning even more ridiculously when their fingers brushed in the exchanged.

"Yes," Colin said with a mock frown, blue eyes big and wide as if he were Merlin. "I'm fairly sure I'm Colin Morgan: unicorn, shamrock, rainbow. I've never been or seen a leprechaun in my life."

"Bollocks."

Colin tried to keep his serious face on but it melted off in an instant, his head going backwards to expose his throat as he laughed a little too loud for the arrivals gate. Bradley was decidedly pleased with this.

And if their hands and shoulders kept touching as they walked away, Bradley taking Colin's carryon so that he could talk freely with his hands, then Bradley wasn't complaining because he he had no doubt that this was all very boyfriendly behavior.

<3<3<3

"Aren't you going to kiss me hello?" Bradley said with not even a hint of a whine when they finally slide into the car.

"Absolutely not."

Bradley gawked before starting the car with a very vicious tug on the key. No kiss hello? Had Colin suddenly changed his mind about the boyfriends then? Maybe he had met up with a chap in Dublin and they were going to adopt little Chinese babies and leave Bradley alone and sexually confused. Oh no, that just wouldn't do.

"And why not?" Bradley cringed when his voice sounded a bit too eager and sad and doubtful and like a complete girl.

"Because of that thing on your face."

"There's nothing on my face!" Bradley pulled the rearview mirror down, ignoring the blaring lights of traffic behind him, to examine his face. There wasn't anything wrong with it. He was very careful to clean his face when he brushed his teeth and make sure no food had tried to ride along in his mustache to see Colin.

"That is not nothing," Colin said with a twisted face of amusement and disgust, like when Bradley accidentally made his cup of tea with too much milk. (It wasn't Bradley's fault that Colin's not proper English and desired far too little milk with his tea.)

"That," Colin continued, ignoring Bradley's squeal when his long, adorable, wonderful and traitorous fingers pulled at his mustache, "is not nothing. It's an abomination!"

"Take it back," Bradley said with menace, narrowing his eyes.

"I absolutely will not."

"My mustache is lovely! It's not an abomination."

"Bradley," Colin chastised, turning in his seat so he could properly scowl at Bradley, who was not looking away from the road because this entire situation was not happening. This was obviously an injustice. His mustache was godly! Manly! In the most manly and attractive ways.

"Bradley, it looks as if you've turned walrus except they took away your tusks because you were touching the kiddies with them."

Bradley squawked, trying not to kill them but it was very hard when his manhood was being insulted by his boyfriend! Of all people! It was most distressing!

"I do not look like a pedo."

"You do," Colin said earnestly, grabbing at Bradley's elbow. "You do look like a pedo. Except, you look like a walrus pedo."

Bradley looked away from the road, shaking his head vigorously and glaring. Colin was ruining their reunion by insulting his manhood. He was obviously going to have to educate Colin very extensively on the proper behavior of a boyfriend and how that didn't include calling them pedophiles. Or walruses for that matter.

"I'm not shaving it."

"We'll see about that," Colin said in a very ominous and mischievous voice, which, said in a different situation would have Bradley very hard and very eager but now just made him want to clutch his wonderful mustache and whimper.

<3<3<3

"I need to take a shower," Colin said as soon as Bradley got the door open. "You can shave that rug off your upper lip while I'm in there."

Bradley stood in shock as Colin kissed his cheek (his cheek? absurdity!) and then walked toward the bathroom. Bradley was sure his hips were swaying on purpose because his cock hardened automatically at the thought of naked-wet-Colin, even if the image was provoked in the same breath as a mustache massacre.

"I'm not shaving!" Bradley screeched before he carried Colin's bags to the bedroom, the shower starting in the background, and dumped them into the corner that Bradley had dubbed 'Colin's corner' because if they were boyfriends now then Colin would certainly need a place to put his stuff. Not that they were moving in together or anything but Colin liked to have space and Bradley respected that.

He looked at where the bed was nice and made, the sheets changed and the lube conveniently underneath the pillow for immediate use.

"I'm not shaving," Bradley said with less conviction.

<3<3<3

When Colin finally stepped out of the shower, Bradley was waiting for him. He had been refusing to look at Colin's wonderfully lean and yummy body through the shower door, and instead had been considering his mustache in the bathroom mirror. The shaving cream and razor sat on the counter—mocking him.

"I love my mustache," Bradley said while fingering the ends of his beloved upper lip hair. "I don't understand why you don't love it too."

A sigh came from where Colin was toweling off but before Bradley could respond, because it was a very communicative sigh, Colin was behind him and meeting his eyes in the mirror.

Bradley tried very hard to remember what they were talking about because fuck, Colin was gorgeous. His skin was flushed from the heat of the shower, his hair tousled in utter sexiness from the towel, droplets of water were running down his neck and shoulders. His eyes were bright blue and expressive.

"Bradley," Colin said before he set his chin onto Bradley's shoulder. Bradley could feel the solid weight on him and it was nice. Nicer still when Colin slid his hands to hold Bradley closer to him. However, it was all negated by the fact that Colin's stubble, which Bradley added in exclamation, was all over his face and boarding on a beard. This obvious hypocrisy brought Bradley back to the point of facial hair back to the forefront of his mind.

"You have a beard!"

Colin cocked his head, trying to distract Bradley with his adorable hair and sharp cheekbones, Bradley was sure. "Bradley," Colin continued, as if Bradley wasn't onto his scheme. "I have stubble because filming required it."

"If you can have stubble, why can't I have a mustache?"

Bradley knew he was pouting, but this wasn't fair! His mustache had been his only companion these long weeks (that wasn't entirely true) and he had grown attached to its constant presence in his life.

"I'll shave my stubble if you like," Colin said and before Bradley could say anything, Colin turned his head to rub that delicious stubble over Bradley's neck like a cat that nuzzles his owner. Bradley's knees turned to pudding. "But I know how much you like it, that's why I kept it."

Bradley couldn't help but groan, Colin's mouth moving over his neck in openly wet and soft kisses and then that fucking amazing stubble followed, rough and scratchy and mouth watering good that Bradley pressed back against Colin's body and found himself panting.

"Please," Colin said after his mouth sucked a solid bruise onto Bradley's skin. "Please shave it off."

Bradley was panting now and quite desperate for Colin. Part him knew that this was all part of Colin's master-leprechaun-inspired-plan but at the moment he couldn't be arsed.

"Please," Colin whispered, his teeth scraping up the sensitive skin to Bradley's ear. "I'll make it up to you."

Bradley moaned when Colin's hips pressed him into the sink and he took the opportunity to gain some footing by threading his hands through Colin's damp hair and pulling him more solidly to him. The resulting moan from Colin, hot and breathy against Bradley's skin, made Bradley feel a bit more in control.

"How?" Bradley asked while Colin sucked at another spot on his neck, blue eyes flickering up to meet his in the mirror. "How will you make it up to me?"

Colin ran his teeth over the newly marked skin, causing Bradley to moan and grind back onto Colin's towel clad erection. Bradley was fairly sure that this was what dying was like; Colin's eyes hooded with arousal, his stubble rubbing against the large hicky he had just given Bradley and promising so much more in the intoxicating circle of his hips.

"I'll suck you," he said, tongue flicking out to lave at Bradley's ear.

"I'm not sure that's enough," Bradley said, although his voice was practically gagging for it. Colin smiled, wicked evil against his neck, and Bradley tugged at his hair in retaliation for how weak-kneed this was making him.

"Hmm, fair point," Colin hummed, looking thoughtful and eatable. "I'll suck you until you come down my throat and then I'll wait for you to recover, playing with your arse-"

Bradley moaned, his eyes slipping shut at the way Colin's voice slid through his accent, a soft volley of Irish brogue that had Bradley quaking.

"I know how much you love it when I tease your arse before I fuck it," Colin said with a particularly pronounced thrust of his hips. Bradley moaned. "I'll even-"

"Oh God," Bradley moaned. "Say it."

Colin laughed across his skin, open mouthed kisses and scratchy beard painting Bradley in a haze of lust. Colin kept kissing in between his filthy words, hips pressing rhythmically against Bradley's clothed backside.

"I'll lick it," Colin whispered. "I know how much you love it when I lick and suck and fuck your hole with my tongue."

"Fuck, Colin," Bradley keened, thrusting back onto Colin's hips, his own cock throbbing in his jeans. "Please."

"I'll fuck you open with my tongue until you're so slick and ready for me," Colin continued. His hand left Bradley's waist and traveled downwards to grasp at Bradley's straining erection. "Until you're hard again and then I'll fuck you, come inside of you and lap it all up when it runs down your thighs."

Bradley was pretty sure he was hyperventilating.

"Fuck, Colin, oh god, please," Bradley heard himself whine, Colin's hand kneading at his dick and pressing against him from head to toe in a fucking promise.

"You'll come twice, before I've even come once. God, I'll be begging for you."

"Promise?"

Colin bit down hard on his neck, licking it over to sooth the tender flesh. "Promise."

And then, he was gone.

Bradley's eyes flew open. Colin had stepped back and around Bradley to put the shaving cream and the razor in his head.

"Only if you shave."

"What, now?" Bradley yelled. "Colin, I can't fucking concentrate, I'll probably cut my nose off!"

"Bradley," Colin said in a tone of absolutely no nonsense. "I will go in there and jack myself off and then go to sleep. There will be no blow jobs or rimming or fucking if you do not shave that sorry excuse for facial hair off your face."

"But-"

"Rimming, Bradley. You can fuck your hole on my face until you get hard again," Colin said before thrusting the shaving supplies in Bradley's hands, dropping his towel and walking out of the bathroom.

Bradley stared after him, willing his breathing to calm down and wondered when the fuck he thought Colin would be good boyfriend material when he was obviously a porn-star and most likely the most evil Irish bastard to have ever walked the earth.

It took Bradley twenty fucking minutes to shave his mustache off without cutting off his face.

<3<3<3

Bradley groaned, his thighs trembling as Colin's mouth bobbed on his dick. He loved Colin like this: on his knees by the bed, mouth stretched wide over Bradley's dick, lips red and spit-slicked with precome and moaning on every deep pass of Bradley's cock into his mouth.

He was so close.

Colin's mouth slipped off the end of his cock, licking at the slit and humming. "Come on, Bradley," he said with a voice raw from Bradley's rough treatment of his throat. But just before his mouth returned to suck Bradley down, Bradley had a stroke of purely genius thinking. The fact that he came up with this, three seconds before coming was amazing and he was pretty sure an award was in order.

Bradley grabbed his dick and shoved Colin's mouth back, tilting his head until Bradley could see Colin's wide eyes. His stubble barely rubbed the tip of Bradley's dick before he was coming with a growl and drawn out moan, hips jerking into his palm and coming in streaks all over Colin's face.

Bradley collapsed on the bed behind him, his legs kicking out from underneath him to wrap around Colin's shoulders and keep his come covered face pressed into Bradley's thigh. Bradley was trying to memorize the moment of his come streaking over Colin's cheeks, covered in stubble and his mouth, wide open and shocked. Bradley was never going to forget that moment. He was swearing to that now. In fact, so far in all their boyfriend moments, Bradley was counting that as the most debauched.

"Oh my god," Bradley panted. "Colin, fuck."

Colin puffed laughter and Bradley felt his hot breath over his still twitching cock and balls. Colin rubbed his wet, slick and filthy cheek against Bradley's thigh. Bradley groaned.

"I guess I deserved that," Colin said, and when Bradley pried his eyes open to look at him he was wiping Bradley's come off his face and licking his fingers. "You know, for making you shave."

"You're killing me," Bradley moaned, unable to stop watching. "Did you come?"

Colin shook his head and took a deep breath. "Almost, when you were unloading on my face."

Bradley flailed when his cock gave a twitch. Colin wasn't allowed to talk like that.

"But Bradley," Colin said with enough mischief to give Bradley heart palpitations. "You taste so good."

It was only then that Bradley realized Colin was nosing at his dick, the sticky planes of his cheeks rubbing against Bradley's sensitive thighs.

"I'm too sensitive," Bradley whined but it was no good, he could already feel Colin's tongue lapping at his balls and moving backward. His body was trembling. "Oh god, Colin."

Colin's face popped up, his hands (those fucking gorgeous fingers that were going to take him apart in the next few minutes) working up Bradley's thighs.

"Best get comfortable," Colin said as he pushed off his knees and climbed onto the bed. "I intend to make good on my promises."

Bradley melted into the kiss, letting Colin suck on his bare upper lip, and for the first time since Colin left for Glasgow, Bradley was glad he didn't have a mustache to get in the way.

<3<3<3

Afterward, Bradley was sure he was dying of pleasure, because Colin had slicked him up with his mouth and tongue before fucking him in a startling display of stamina and porn acrobatics that had Bradley's arse stinging and begging for more. And then he had done exactly as he said, buried his face between Bradley's sopping cheeks and licked and sucked all the come out of him. After Bradley had painfully come a third time and Colin had come a second, balls deep inside an oversensitive and babbling Bradley, Bradley was sure that getting a mustache, becoming attached to it and then being convinced to shave it with sexual deviance was the best idea ever had by boyfriends.

"I think I'm dying," Colin said against his neck. Bradley grunted his agreement, turning his head from where his face was implanted in the pillow so he could talk while Colin nuzzled and kissed his neck.

"If you die, you should pull out of my ass," Bradley said. "I'm not sure my family would be alright burying us attached mid buggery."

Colin snorted, probably at the word 'buggery', but reluctantly pulled his softening cock out of Bradley's very tender arse. Bradley rolled over and Colin promptly collapsed on top of him. Their sweat and come and just general gross sex fluids squishy and squelching between them. Bradley was trying to care but he was too tired.

He was on the edge of sleep when Colin said, "Don't you want to know what your surprise is?"

Bradley opened one eye. God, Colin looked delicious all sex-mussed with his hair and his swollen mouth and the alarming amount of love bites on his neck. Bradley felt a twinge in his chest.

"I thought you were my surprise."

Colin shook his head. "I wouldn't be a surprise for you that you already had."

Bradley beamed.

"Well, what is it?"

A different kind of flush appeared on Colin's cheeks and Bradley felt a bit more awake. This wasn't naughty-boyfriend-Colin, this was something completely different.

"We're going to your parents in a couple of days..."

Bradley nodded. "For Christmas."

Colin looked very, very nervous and Bradley felt the overwhelming urge to hug him, so he did. He squashed Colin closer to him, his arms clamping down over Colin's back and dragging him closer so that they were face to face.

"What of it?" Bradley asked, kissing Colin's cheek and ignoring that their breath was absolutely rank.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to my parents for Boxing Day," Colin said.

Bradley blinked. "You told them?"

The flush on Colin's cheeks was decadent. "They asked if I had a boyfriend to bring and I said yes."

"Boyfriend," Bradley said in amazement.

Colin just smiled, his eyes twinkling with pride and something else that Bradley would try and catalog later. For now, he pressed their mouths together in tiny chaste kisses that evolved into making out like teenagers, bodies too worn out for anything else. They were always best at kissing with goofy smiles on their faces.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS GRATUITOUS PORN. PLEASE STROKE MY EGO BY LEAVING ME COMMENTS.