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Title: Frankie Says (Get Your Shit Together, You Emotionally Constipated Jackass)
Rating: NC-17
Author: [ profile] tourdefierce
Word Count: 4,000
Warnings: Cursing, Sex, Violence, Fluff, Crack/Humor, Extreme stereotyping and Ariadne being awesome at all things.
Summary: Eames learns that Arthur knows how to say Slurpee in French... among other things.
Author's Notes: This fic was written for [ profile] i_reversebang and I had a lovely artists, [ profile] katy_romance, who requested French!Arthur. Thanks to [ profile] sabriel75 and [ profile] samsamtastic for all their betaing and encouragement. Also, [ profile] roflolmaomg doesn't suck at helpin' a sister out.

As a disclaimer goes, I'm an American and know nothing about anything but Slurpees and Ellen Page's nipples. All jest about nations is made without malicious intensions.

Click here for NWS art and please leave her some feedback on her lovely, really fantastic art. ♥

bulldogs, slurpees and sex: do the body good. )
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Title: Oh, What Big Hands You Have!
Pairing: Esca/Marcus
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4,500
Warning: Hipster!AU, light spanking, really rough sex, drug use, intoxication, language, sex and LGBTQ language and culture. (If f*gg*t is a trigger for you, it's used in this fic but not as a derogatory term. ♥)
Summary: Esca is a fucking hipster, he owns this fucking town and he's looking to get fucked and wear a cardigan. Holla.
Author's Notes: Um. I AM NOT IN EAGLE FANDOM. This is for my flist, which is full of amazing people who love The Eagle, bb!Bell and Channing's hands. I GIVE THIS TO YOU. Many thanks to [ profile] lolafeist for the quick-fire beta of this ridiculous excuse for porn.



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Title: With Love From Camelot
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3,354
Warning: Future!fic, cursing, dirty talk, general debauchery, crack, some level of fluff and most certainly boys in love.
Summary: Coronation!fic: wherein Arthur misses Merlin's bum, Merlin feels like destiny is screwing with him and James, Arthur's new manservant, gets an eyeful of the crown jewels. ♥ (Or, why no one in Camelot goes to a whorehouse because all they have to do is go to court instead--except Gwaine, but he likes the architecture and it reminds him of his mum.)
Author's Notes: This is for [ profile] lolafeist. I hope you had a lovely birthday, my dear. You deserve it. ♥ She asked for pretty much everything this fic is NOT. HA! I'm sorry. But I went with drunken!sex and just... ran with it. Forgive me? [ profile] marguerite_26 and [ profile] vesperdivum were my lovely betas. I can't thank them enough.

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Title: Rivers 'til I Reach You
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 5K
Warning: D/s, spanking, violence, depictions of war, felching, rough sex, and language.
Summary: Sometimes Merlin gets lost and he needs to be guided back home.
Author's Notes: This is for [ profile] lolafeist. She is always writing me things and I am forever grateful for her words. On top of that, she's just a fucking lovely person and I love that I share fandom space with her. ♥ I had a lot of help with this fic. I've never written anything like this before and elicited help from [ profile] marguerite_26, [ profile] samsamtastic, [ profile] sabriel75 and [ profile] vesperdivum: if it wasn't for their patience, their comma expertise, their encouragement and their talent, this fic would be nothing. I can't thank you all enough. The title is from The Head and The Heart's song, Rivers and Roads.

I hope you all like it.

Rivers 'til I Reach You )
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Title: Sploogetastic (What, What: In The Butt)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Unprotected sex, crack, rough sex, language, filthyfilthyfilth and ♥
Word Count: 5,565
Summary: This is a story wherein Arthur is a bastard, Eames is in love, Ariadne is taking over the world with her vocabulary and Yusuf is the only one with any dignity left to lose. This is a love story.
Author's Notes: Fuck you LJ. This was originally posted for [ profile] cherrybina's Inception Kink Fest. Many thanks to [ profile] sabriel75 for betaing this for me. I would apologize but Ariadne says, "BITCHES DON'T APOLOGIZE. WE JUST REPRESENT." Holla.

barebacking, yo )

This post has prompted me to give Ariadne her own tags because my love for her is greater than anything. None of you will ever be able to compare to Ariadne. Her nipples will eventually take over the world. I'll put in a good word for you all, but there is no promises and she takes no prisoners. [ profile] ravyn_ashling will probably be awarded a small island for her proper worship of Ariadne. You should be so lucky.

This fic was brought to you, in part, by inner lesbian rage, Ellen Page's cardigans superiority and not wearing pants.
If you are all wondering if I just named a fic Sploogetastic (What, What: In The Butt), just know that this is reality.

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Title: Teenage Dream
Recipient: [ profile] onelittlesleep
Author: [ profile] tourdefierce
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Arthur/Merlin. Side pairings include: Lance/Gwen, Leon/Morgana, Gwaine/The World, Morgause/Morgana and Morgause/Freya. You guys, I don't even know.
Word Count: 12,785ish.
Warnings: Awkwardness, mild dirty talk, intoxication and suggestion of drug use (of the underage and sexy variety), marathon boy-sex, drastic cuteness, happily-ever-afters, mentions of STIs, sex and offensive language.
Summary: "Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight."- Katy Perry
Author's Notes: I took the following prompts as a guide: first-time, lots of making out, no sad endings/no super!fluff, GWAINE, LANCELOT, humping like RABBITS, Arthur!Pining, sex in public places (like cars), frottage, rough sex, filthy makeouts, shower sex, ridiculously horny boys, turned on to the point of near oblivion/sobbing... I do hope that you enjoy your gift and everyone else gets something out of it at as well. ♥ Many thanks to my two betas, [ profile] sabriel75 and [ profile] roflolmaomg. They are both beautiful people and suffer through my drastic comma abuse. I am, as always, forever in their debts.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to Shine and BBC. I make no profit from this endeavor.

This was originally posted for [ profile] hs_merlin. TEENAGERS DO SOMETHING TO ME. As do [ profile] ella_bane and [ profile] dreamdustmama, who are both lovely mods and I want to take advantage of them in dark corners. OBVI. Someday, I will learn the art of anon. TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY. If you were surprised that this was me, then you're flattering me. Also, once upon a time, I wrote short fic. THOSE DAYS ARE OVER. Thanks for reading guys, you are all beautiful people and I want to put your face in my between my breasts. That is all.

(Part One) (Part Two)
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Title: Shameless
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Warnings: Unprotected sex, filthy!Arthur, crack, language and did I mention the filth?
Word count: 1,000
Summary: Eames is having difficultly focusing (because Arthur fucked him like a stallion, a stallion I tell you).
Author's Note: I wrote this as ANON for [ profile] cherrybina's Ass Worship fest. It's unbeta'd and full of typos. Once again, I don't care. It's porn.

tourdefierce: (Default)
Title: Baby, We're Natural Born Killers
Rating: R for language and violence
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Warnings: Eames being a BAMF, references to sexual harassment and unbeta'd so it has tons of typos. I DON'T CARE.
Word count: 1200ish
Summary: Arthur gets to office, only to find Eames hanging out with some dead bodies. Business as usual.
Author's Note: This was written for [ profile] latenightcuppa to make her feel joy.

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Title: The One Where Gwaine Gets Cockblocked by Destiny
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur with voyeur!Gwaine.
Warnings: Dirty talk (seriously), rough sex, bottom!Arthur, voyeurism, true-love and other POV.
Word count: 4,540 (You guys, I suck at comment porn.)
Summary: Gwaine is supposed to be getting some sexy-times with Merlin. He doesn't understand why that isn't happening and he's going to find out, dammit.
Author's Note Thank you to [ profile] marguerite_26 for the quick beta. If you see any grammatical errors, they're all my fault and I don't care. This was supposed to be COMMENT PORN. So, you know what, just deal with my deep seeded issues with commas. This was written for [ profile] winterstorrm, who requested voyeur Gwaine or Percy.

Take me to the porn. )
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Title: Dream a Little Dream (Of Me)
Summary: Arthur has inner lesbian rage or a fic in which dreams are really fucking with Arthur's delicate repression.
Word Count: 6,450
Warnings: Sex, lots of cursing, violence, casual treatment of stalking/crime, alternating POVs, French decadence and a pretty BAMF!Ariadne. There might be some crack... if you squint.
Notes: [ profile] thisissirius asked for coming untouched and kissing in the rain and I wrote this based on those prompts. I hope she likes this, even if Eames isn't her favorite character. ♥ Thanks to [ profile] ravyn_ashling for betaing this for me. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own.

Arthur has inner lesbian rage )

I ♥ you.
Carry on
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Title: Insubordination
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Warnings: Dirty talk, angst, language, violence, frottage and some magic-sex. (unbeta'd.)
Word count:1, 640
Author's Note: [ profile] blameitonmerlin is feeling sick. You know what cures a lot of illnesses? PORN. So she asked for wall slamming and I brought it. Since her journal is flocked, I post this all for your viewing pleasure. FANDOM, I WRITE INSUBORDINATION SEX FOR YOU.


♥ ♥ ♥

Oh fandom, the things you make me do. I fucking love you bitches.
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Title: Words for Dreamers
Rating: Rish
Pairing: Arthur/Eames, Arthur/Mal is you squint
Warnings: Gore? Poetry? Richard Siken?
Word count: 1157
Summary: Richard Siken.
Author's Note: [ profile] lemniciate has a Richard Siken fest going on at her journal: Go check it out!. Since I've written like, THREE Star Trek/RPF fics to Siken, I'm just gonna leave this year. OH HEY INCEPTION FANDOM.

When I get you alone... )
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Title: The Sexual Education of Bradley James
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Bradley/Colin
Warnings: Dirty talk, rimming (and all sorts of other naughty things), FLUFF and thinly veiled plot as a means to FILTHY FUCKING PORN.
Word count: 2,771
Summary: Turns out, Bradley's a filthy bottom. JUST LIKE EMILY SAID.
Author's Note: This was written for [ profile] hermette's prompt: I want Colin to rim Bradley until he cries. I made that happen. This was for the B/C comment fest over at [ profile] moonilicious's journal.

In which, rimming is always the answer. )
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Title: Picture Maker
Author: [ profile] tourdefierce
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur; brief mentions of Merlin/Will, Arthur/Valiant, Merlin/Gwaine, Gwen/Lancelot, Gaius/OMC
Word Count: 24,380
Warnings: Drug use (various forms), hipsters, language, boy-sex, public sex, facials, rimming, NSFW images, small mentions of homophobia and other general ridiculousness.
Summary: Hipster: a subculture of men and women typically in their 20's and 30's that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter. Hipster: a group of people Arthur Pendragon despises.
Author's Notes: Author's Notes: I took the following prompts: bottom!Merlin, slutty!Merlin, emotionally-stunted!Arthur and handsfree orgasms. I'm not sure how this happened by I blame it entirely on [ profile] staraflur. A big thank you to [ profile] thisissirius and [ profile] samsamtastic for all their cheerleading and [ profile] roflolmaomg for her betaing and sexual favors. Anecdotes you recognize were taken from Ryan McGinley's life without permission or from my own life. The three photographs imbedded in this story are Ryan McGinley's photographs. He's like, the god of hipster-gay meets hipster-art. Check him out at his website.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to Shine and BBC. I make no profit from this endeavor.

(Part One)(Part Two)(Part Three)

A huge thank you to [ profile] merlin_holidays for putting on such a delightful fest. ♥


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